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    October 20

    "I'm glad my life isn't like a Christmas song,

    because if my friends and I were building a snowman and it suddenly came alive when we put a hat on it, I'd probably freak and stab it to death with an icicle."
                                                                                   - Matthew Perry.


    There's a tradition in my family that goes as such;

    The joyous hanging of the ceremonial wreath.
    The attentive decoration of an aromatic tree.
    The drapery of fairy lights on the backyard trees, watching them twinkle on warm, summery nights in our loosely fit pyjamas.

    It's a tradition that we've always upheld - a holiday routine that we've so warmly embraced since before I can remember. We'd have a cd player on the backyard patio table, and we'd just sit, listening to the sentimental sounds of Nat King Cole's "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" drifting into the quiet night sky, and filling our hearts with a warm feeling of peace and satisfaction. We'd spend Christmas Eve with family friends, watching Carols in the Domain outside whilst the barbeque sizzled with two dozen or so sausages, just chatting about the year that was, and the year that was to come.

    I've only had good memories of Christmas. It's the time of year when I can feel the happiness emanating from every place I visit - everybody's excited and enthusiastically anticipating the holidays, and the unmistakable expression of joy that lights up faces whilst waiting at the shop counter is irreplacable. The city streets are lined with delicate fairy lights and boughs of faux holly, and giant Christmas trees scatter the forums and squares in a beautiful, assymetrical calculation.

    However, whilst my routine has brought me memories that I hold dear to my heart, I've always dreamed of something different - Something so entirely unexperienced and stunningly foreign that the holidays were given a whole new meaning. The kind of Christmas so detatched from the norm - where self discovery almost equates physical discovery, and where I mentally photograph my surroundings, piece by piece. The kind where time somes to a gracious stop whilst one immerses themselves in their unfamiliar surroundings, after seeing them so longingly on "Wish you were here" postcards and in countless holiday films of nostalgic proportions.

    Yes. I've always dreamed of a White Christmas.
    And this Christmas, my dream will come true.

    Instead of spending the holidays here, in Sydney, I shall be travelling Europe - but not as I have seen it before. This time, I shall see the powder-covered rolling hills of the English countryside, the snow-topped roofs of Heidelberg and its Christmas markets, and eventually, the dazzling Parisian Eiffel Tower New Year's Eve fireworks from a Champs-Élysées hotel. I'll see the excited frenzy of Harrods, ride the grandoise canals of Venice, journey through the white gardens of Versailles and go outdoor ice skating at Somerset House. I'll spend Christmas Eve with the tour group in a restaurant in Rome, and spend the morning after walking through Florence and seeing the Statue of David. It's the holiday I've dreamt of since I was about eight, and its all coming in to place. The tours' booked, the hotels organized, the flights paid - I don't think I've anticipated something so eagerly in my life, apart from the birth of my brother, Aaron. It's so close, I can feel its premise of adventure and inspiration in the air I breathe, and the sights I see. The thought of it sends electricity through my fingertips and shivers down my spine.

    And best of all?
    I get to see my grandparents for the first time in six years.
    Dear ol' grandad's turning ninety.
    I just can't wait.

    "And if you'd 'a took to me like
    A 'gull takes to the wind.
    Well, I'd 'a jumped from my tree
    And I'd 'a dance like the king of the eyesores
    And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well."


    the-social-bunny.

    October 12

    I think they call this organisation.

    After realising that the collection of my shameless advertisements designed for use in MSN messenger made the whole page rather messy, I put them all into one, simple, neat Zip File.

                    

    That is all. Carry on.

    October 08

    I have no friends.

    "Don't you think it's time?
    Time for moving on,
    Time for growing strong,
    Time to leave the past behind?"

    Yes, it's time. After a good month and a half or so away from this blog and its joys, the-social-bunny has returned, frowning heavily upon his quality of writing whilst obviously listening to Bob Evans in the background.

    The past few weeks, as mentioned in a previous post, have played host to a plethora of events and emotions than cannot be summed up in a single entry. I received news of great joy, experienced boredom beyond belief and faced the highly unpleasant stresses of exams. I encountered several administrative mistakes, and made personal mistakes of my own. I watched as the world spun by in a contemplative state, and then joined in the art of busyness whilst another stood still. Additionally, I also picked up the bad habit of exclaiming "Aiya!" upon every event of shock.

    Oh yes, despite my trendy, cosmopolitan Sydneysider facade, my Asian roots extend far deeper than one might think.
    Want proof? Well, I can speak Mandarin.

    Fractured, non-sensical Mandarin.
    Or at least one sentence;

    我没有朋友
    wo meiyou pengyou.

    I have no friends.

    Seriously, it's amazing what you can remember with the buzz of Berocca in your system and the tattered remnants of an old Chinese textbook in the other. The sad thing is, I couldn't remember anything even remotely useful, like "Your hands smell like urine" or "You've got bad breath". It's rather upsetting to know that the only thing you can say in a language is a declaration of your outast status in society.

    One, stupid, lousy, useless phrase.

    我没有朋友
    wo meiyou pengyou.

    I have no friends.

    At first glance, I began to wonder exactly how on earth I remembered this, out of all the hundreds-of-thousands of phrases, questions or statements that exist in the Chinese - and English - languages. Why couldn't I remember something like;

    "Please make sure the sweat dripping off your nose doesn't get into my order."
    I'm sure that'd come in handy for whenever I visit the Chinese duck shop down the road in summer.

    Or how about;
    "You're breaching public occupational health and safety regulations by preparing your food on the shopping centre floor."
    Now that would come in handy on the family's occassional Asian grocery shopping trips to Cabramatta.

    In true rodentesque fashion, I had a minor battle with myself, struggling to find the reason for something so utterly absurd, that even my teachers laugh when they hear it. Why couldn't I learn something that questioned the hygenic practices of the underfunded Chinese business around me, rather than a sad and pitiful statement about myself?

    And then I remembered.

    One thing I particularly remember from the film "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" (apart from that Jim Carrey was capable of some decent acting) was that every memory has an emotional core, and the strength and significance of this core will determine how long the memory lasts.

    And no, it's not what you're thinking. You're my friend, right? RIGHT?!

    When I was a wee-little-lad in dearest year eight, I studied Chinese (for the first time) as one of my school subjects. Like all schools, I was required to sit a speaking and listening task in which I was subject to an individual interview with the teacher, speaking only Chinese. Big ask, coming from a person who hadn't spoken it in his life until two terms previously. I remember one of the questions that she asked me was;

    你能把朋友事?
    What do you like to do with your friends?

    Of course, at the time, I had absolutely no idea what she was saying, and expectedly, I panicked (see "A Nervous tic Motion of the Head to the Left"). I could only remember one thing, and one thing only.

    Yep, you guessed it.

    我没有朋友
    wo meiyou pengyou.

    I have no friends.

    The teacher then felt rather sorry for me, actually believing my lousy excuse for an answer, giving me full marks in the "Friends and Activities" area of the marking citeria. Surely enough, I could have said "I don't have any friends, but if I did, I'd like to go to the zoo with them", or "I don't have any friends, but if I did, I'd take advantage of them and eventually sell them on eBay." - but instead I came up with something much smarter and intelligent.

    我没有朋友
    wo meiyou pengyou.
    I have no friends.

    I still can't speak Mandarin, rest assured. My tongue twists into all sorts of unfathomable contortions, producing a spray of spit rather than a word of sorts. But if there's one thing that I have learnt (or changed) since those early days, it's this;

     

    我有一个朋友
    wo you i ge pengyou.

    I have one friend.

     

    the-social-bunny.

    PS. Feel like spreading the news about Click Here's reopening? Well, you better be.

    Feel free to shamelessly promote the blog with this funky batch of display pictures by clicking here.

    The Undeletable, Undefiable Movie Blog.

    Tired of having to watch Shrek again for the 57th time? Looking for something on the DVD rack other than Titanic? Utterly confused at Blockbuster looking for something half-decent?

    Never to fear, the social bunny's here. Again.
    And boy, does he have you covered.

    The following list of films are some that I have watched over the years, and have either hated, loved, or felt utterly indifferent about. From films of deep political insight to less serious, light-hearted giggle-fests, I've seen a lot during my time. And I like to think that I know my stuff, and that I know what's good, and what's not.

    This blog will be updated from time to time, ensuring that my filmological exploits are spread far over the reaches of the Internet (and by that, I mean the five or so people that actually read my blog), whilst at the same time ensuring my excitement over ceratin new finds does not lead to the girlish squeals and jittery knee-knocking previously experienced at school. Entries are in order of rating.



    Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
    This is easily, my favourite film of all time. It's so cleverly directed, so masterfully executed, so brilliantly crafted - and the end result is an undefinably stunning work of art that sends shivers down your spine and brings tears to the eyes. Although the core of the film is in essence, a typical romantic-breakup-gone-wrong, it is treated with such delicacy and influence of the unconventional that the final result is an untypically unpredictable, and at times heartbreaking film that defies its genric boundaries.

    When couple Joel Barrish (Jim Carrey) and Clementine Kruczynski (Kate Winslet) encounter a significant hiccup in their relationship, they decide to undertake a procedure to erase each other from their memories, only to realise their mistake as their good memories are lost.

    Eternal Sunshine is undoubtedly screenwriter Charlie Kaufman's best work yet, a bold statement considering he wrote such films as "Adaptation", "Being John Malkovich" and "Human Nature". He employs a different take on the heartbreak and loss, with an unconventional and bizzare sense of the fantastical incorporated into the storyline and the actual depiction of the events. Possibly the most fascinating aspect of the film is that Joel's (Carrey) world is shown to us as he remembers it, with the removal of all the little details such as labels, names on street signs, faces. One just can't help but look out for them as the movie progresses. Both Carrey's and Winslet's performances are commendable, with Carrey's trademark "face-contortion-comedy" thankfully not present. In fact, Carrey gives his best performance to date in Eternal Sunshine, with his deep and believable acting in the film a welcome contrast to his previous B-rate, dumbed-down films.

    Wonderfully warm-hearted and refreshingly original.

    "How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot!
    The world forgetting, by the world forgot
    Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
    Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd."

    Imdb Rating: 8.6 {#38 on top 250 films of all time}
    the-social-bunny's Rating: 10/10.



    Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain
    Sure, it may be present on almost every single MSN spaces movie list in existence, but there's a reason why. Before Audrey Tautou was the felinesque Sophie Neveu in rather wooden The DaVinci Code, she was the shy, socially left-of-centre waitress in the French film "Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain" (Amélie for short). It's beautifully photographed, highlighting a heartwarmingly romantic side of its Parisian setting even in the most mundane of places.

    When an shy and naive Parisian waitress, Amélie Poulain, returns a long-lost childhood memento to a former occupant of her apartment, she decides to undertake good deeds anonymously to make the world a better place. On her journey, she encounters an unconventional love in Nino Quincampoix, a shop assistant at an adult theatre.

    Amélie is nothing short of beautiful. Bruno Delbonnel's cinematography is exquisite, and the costumes, sets and direction are dreamlike in nature, exuding an element of the fantastical in every frame from start to finish. Tautou is perfect as Amélie, with her naturalistic image complementing Amélie character quirks and personality. The humour is at times rather campy, but this unexpectedly adds to the film's charm and heart-rending effect on the viewer.

    Delightfully charming, appealingly quirky.

    "On September 3rd 1973, at 6:28pm and 32 seconds, a bluebottle fly capable of 14,670 wing beats a minute landed on Rue St Vincent, Montmartre. At the same moment, on a restaurant terrace nearby, the wind magically made two glasses dance unseen on a tablecloth. Meanwhile, in a 5th-floor flat, 28 Avenue Trudaine, Paris 9, returning from his best friend's funeral, Eugène Colère erased his name from his address book. At the same moment, a sperm with one X chromosome, belonging to Raphaël Poulain, made a dash for an egg in his wife Amandine. Nine months later, Amélie Poulain was born."

    Imdb Rating: 8.6 (#29 on top 250 films of all time).
    the-social-bunny's rating: 10/10.



    Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang.
    In a world where Hollywood comedies have been reduced to hour-length fart jokes and embarrassingly unfunny gross-out humour, "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" (KKBB for short) represents the almost invisible minority of filmmakers longing to present something intelligent to the film-going public. Infused with a delightfully dark flippancy and an extremely appealing element of the "film noir", KKBB spares no occassion for hilariously cyncical witticisms or chuckle-worthy one-liners. However, the film manages to not force its jokes down the throats of the viewer, and as a consequence, they are not overwhelmed by the humouresque aspects of the events that take place.

    When failed robber Harry Lockhart (Robert Downey Jr) accidently stumbles into a film audition whilst escaping a police chase, he is subscribed under the guidance of "Gay" Perry (Val Kilmer) for detective lessons. After reuniting equally-as-failed actress and former best friend Harmony Lane, the trio is thrust into a thrilling murder case that epitomises the dark side of the entertainment industry's celebrities and celebutantes.

    KKBB's plot is deliciously complex, with directionary twists and turns at every figurative corner. The characters are fully-realised and unexpectedly believable, and their relationships are played perfectly without exaggeration. Val Kilmer is particularly good as a sharp, gay detective - full of laugh-out-loud personality quirks and one liners that deter from the stereotypes whilst referencing their existence.

    Hilariously thrilling, mouth-wateringly witty.

    "Yeah, boo, hiss, I know. Look, I hate it too. In movies where the studio gets all paranoid about a downer ending so the guy shows up, he's magically alive on crutches, I hate that. I mean shit, why not bring them all back. But the point is in this case, this time, it really happened. Perry, like, lived. Yeah, it's a dumb movie thing, but what do you want me to do, lie about it?"

    Imdb Rating: 7.9
    the-social-bunny's Rating: 9/10



    Garden State
    To the overactive minds of quiet mid-adolescents, "Garden State" is the ultimate reflection of our possibly directionless, fast-approaching twenty-something livelihoods. Complemented wonderfully with an incredible, grammy-winning soundtrack, Garden State is in essence, a "Coming-of-Age" story with a dark, dry-humoured twist - and a highly credible debut film from actor/director Zach Braff, known moreso for his television work. Garden State exudes a certain unidentifiable humour to it, albeit a dark and heavy one. From gerbil deaths, to car accidents and dysfunctional families, the film manages to create a feeling of tension whilst lightly pushing the viewer in chuckle-sessions and at times, laugh-out-loud moments of guilty hilarity.

    When the emotionally-neutral, one-time-famous actor Andrew Largeman (Zach Braff) returns home from LA to attend his wheelchair-confined mother's funeral, he embarks on an emotional revisitation of his youth and past. After "Large" ceases to continue taking his antidepressant medication, he slowly develops emotionally, finding love and himself on the way.

    There are so many fantastic elements to Garden State - the cast, the storyline, the direction - but it is the soundtrack that really stands out in the film. Compiled by Braff himself, each track perfectly reflects its respective event in the film - staying true to the quietly humourous character and quirky characters. Both Braff (Andrew) and Portman (Sam) portray their respective characters in a refreshingly understated manner, consequently making the characters more realised and realistic. Though the "dramatics" of conventional film is still present, Braff's direction makes it all seem feasible, and the viewer is presented with a strong balance between the real, and the entertaining.

    A fantastic debut film for Braff - Tearily emotional, darkly hilarious.

    Imdb Rating: 8.0 (Formerly #188 on top 250 films of all time)
    the-social-bunny's rating: 9/10


    Coming Soon:
    Thank You For Smoking
    Little Miss Sunshine
    Serenity
    American Beauty
    Joyeux Noël
    MirrorMask

    Got a suggestion? Click Here.

    October 05

    The Undeletable, Undefiable Music Blog.

    Tired of hearing that same ol' 12" over and over again? Desperately hoping to step out of the confines of the top 40? Just plain sick of "Hips Don't Lie" on the radio?

    Never to fear, the social bunny's here.
    And boy, does he have you covered.

    The following list of records are some that I have acquired over the years, and have either hated, loved, or felt utterly indifferent about. From the retroscopic delights of avant-garde jazz, to the delicate mechanics of poptastic electronica, and back again to darkly experimental 21st century Art music, everyone's favourite sociable rabbit has heard it all. He knows his stuff, he knows what's good.

    He also likes referring to himself in the third person, but that's totally irrelevant.

    This blog will be updated from time to time, ensuring that my dearest musical discoveries are spread far over the reaches of the Internet (and by that, I mean the five or so people that actually read my blog), whilst at the same time ensuring my excitement over certain new finds does not lead to the girlish squeals and jittery knee-knocking previously experienced at school. Entries are in order of rating.


       
     Jamie Cullum - "Twentysomething"

    Everybody who knows me, knows that I have a deep and forever-lasting obsession with this album. From the slick, clever pop reworkings of lesser-known jazz standards to the jazz reworkings of widely-known pop songs, the album instantly won me over with its suprising diversity and applaudable vocal performance. Cullum croons over the top of each track, his back-of-the-throat rasp often sharing parts with his rebelliously unique style of piano-playing that goes against any classical teacher will preach in their music-room domains. Unlike many new jazz vocalists on the current market, Cullum embraces his youth and place in the 21st century, rather than attempting to replicate the formal stylings of the Rat Pack. He sings of lack of life direction and "calling his Nan every Sunday", with one of the most memorable lyrical excerpts of the album;

    "After years of expensive education,
    A car full of books, and anticipations,
    I'm an expert on Shakespeare, a
    nd that's a hell of a lot,
    But the world don't need scholars as much as I thought!"

    Cullum reinvents songs from all eras, with the likes of Frank Sinatra, Jimi Hendrix, Radiohead and Pharrell all receiving complete transformations that manage to maintain the essence and character of the original whilst showcasing Cullum's vigour and energy. Songs contain influences from every which-way-and-direction, with hip-hop, rock, swing and Latin elements infiltrating Cullum's primarily "jazz" sound - a feature of his music that ingeniously contrasts with lyrics of sharp wit and at times, cynicism. Unbeatably fantastic.

    Particular Highlights: "Lover, You Should Have Come Over", "Twenty-something", "These Are the Days", "All at Sea", "High and Dry", "God Only Knows".
    Overall Rating: 10/10.



     Damien Rice - "O"
    In a world where music is heartless and created as a commercial "product" to the masses, Rice represents something different - a return to the soul-bearing and uninhibited era of Bob Dylan and Jeff Buckley. Though the owner of a simple title, "O" is a deliciously complex record of beautifully written, stunningly performed songs. Each track is edgily individual, with Rice's intense interpretations and grandoise arrangements unfailingly pulling at the heartstrings and settling the mind into a state of calm and quiet introspect.

    Despite the numerous applaudable aspects of "O", possibly the most impressive fact of the record is that it is Rice's first. From the opening acoustic guitar solo of "Delicate" to the final mezzo-soprano operatic vocal accompaniment of Eskimo, Rice showcases a lyrical, melodical and emotional maturity present not even in performers twice his age. One of the most exciting lyrical moments can be found in "Amie", a spine-tingling track possessing lyrics of such a beautiful amiguity, such cinematicism;

    "It's nothing unusual, it's nothing strange,
    It's close to nothing at all.
    The same old scenario, the same old rain,
    And there's no explosions here."

    "Then something unusual, something strange
    It comes from nothing at all,
    I saw a space ship fly by your window,
    Did you see it disappear?"

    Furthermore, Rice's soundscape is lush, rounded and exquisitely instrumentated - a flaw could not be found, even if one examined it with a fine tooth comb. Absolutely Superb.

    Particular Highlights: "Cannonball", "Amie", "The Blower's Daughter", "Eskimo", "Volcano", "Delicate", "Older Chests".
    Overall Rating: 10/10.


      
    John Coltrane - "A Love Supreme"
    There's no doubting Coltrane as the king of jazz, his virtuosic saxaphone playing inspiring and influencing many musicians then, and now. "A Love Supreme" is possibly his most famous and admired work, and the content of the record explains why in an instant. Enthralling heads, thrilling melodic ideas, unrestrictedly soulful performances - the record is in essence, a work of art. "Resolution" contains one of the most awe-inspiring, individual heads in the history of jazz, it's powerful and almost militaristic character magnificently moving and utterly fascinating. Coltrane's tonal focus creates a sense of solidness and grandeur, a far cry from Charlie Parker's spontaneous chromaticism and flamboyant melodic decoration. Compelling, rebellious, masterful.

    Particular Highlights: "Resolution", "Psalm".
    Overall Rating: 9/10.



    The Postal Service - "Give Up"
    Lyrically spectacular and lavishly experimental, the debut album of electonica outfit "The Postal Service" is a collaborative effort between Death Cab For Cutie's Ben Gibbard and producer Jimmy Tamborello. Exploring an array of artificial sounds and soundcapes, "Give Up" is electrifyingly left-of-centre and daringly unique, it's unconventional drum-machine beats and synthesized intrumentation co-existing with Gibbard's vocals in a way that prescribes no set role of melody, nor accompaniment. "Give Up" is shamelessly new-age, with it's almost 80's electro-pop sound somewhat contradicting Gibbard's sensitive, indie-esque lyrics, and its poptastic and polyphonic musical composition suggesting an atmospheric approach to the music-making process - a feature generally reserved only for 21st century art music and film-score composers. The end result is a set of charmingly mechanical, robotically life-like cleverly crafted pop songs that emanate quirk and energy, whilst retaining a sense of emotional provocation. Such can be seen in "Such Great Heights", whose heartfelt lyrics are somewhat interpretationally mistreated, but in a strangely gratifying way;

    "I am thinking it's a sign,
    That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images
    And when we kiss they're perfectly aligned,
    And I have to speculate,
    That god himself did make us into corresponding shapes,
    Like puzzle pieces from the clay"

    Though a more evocative and appropriate intepretation of the song can be found under the portfolio of American folk-duo "Iron & Wine", Gibbard manages to make the Service's rendition somewhat exciting and bittersweet, confusing the senses with a rush of adrenaline and an induction of sentiment and contemplation.

    Particular Highlights: "Such Great Heights", "Nothing Better", "Brand New Colony", "Clark Gable", "We Will Become Silhouettes".
    Overall Rating: 8/10.



    The Format - "Interventions and Lullabies"

    Sure, they may look like you average teen indie rock band - there's nothing at first glance to suggest otherwise, but The Format's album debut "Interventions and Lullabies" proves that members Nate Ruess and Sam Means are capable of so much more than your mediocre pop-rock festival musicians. From the aptly named "The First Single" to the supercharged "Wait, Wait, Wait", "Interventions and Lullabies" is delightfully catchy, sporting superbly crafted hooks and choruses that unlike many of The Format's contemporaries, exudes a lyrical punch and melodical cling that makes them unexpectedly likable and appealing.

    Though "Interventions and Lullabies" has its evident flaws - the songs are often similar in sound and instrumentation, and Ruess's vocal performance is far from extraordinary - it has its moment of glory in "On Your Porch", an almost poetic track told in a completely continuos verse over a quiet acoustic guitar accompaniment. Unlike many other songs on the record, "On your porch" preaches not of road trips and youth, but instead of a sentimental "Coming of age" into maturity and adulthood.

    "I was on your porch last night,
    The smoke, it sank into my skin,
    So I went inside, to be with you,
    And we talked all night,
    About everything we could imagine,
    'Cause by the morning, I'll be gone"


    Whilst The Format will probably never emerge from its mid-adolescent niche, their flair for penning super-catchy pop-rock tunes will appeal to a set following, with an unfortunate slim chance of expansion or widening of demographic.

    Highlights: "On Your Porch", "The First Single", "Wait, Wait, Wait", "I'm Ready, I am", "Tune Out".
    Overall rating: 7/10.


    Coming soon:
    Muse - "Blackholes and Revelations"
    Diana Krall - "The Girl In the Other Room"
    Ray Lamontagne - "Trouble"
    Snow Patrol - "Final Straw"
    Guillemots - "From the Cliffs"

    Got a suggestion? Click Here.

    October 04

    The Suggestively Suggestive Suggestion Blog.

    Got something to complain about?
    Demand the improvement of every single little writing and aesthetic aspect of this little corner of net-trash?

    Well frankly, I don't care. To a great extent. I'm not at all concerned if you thought my writing was complete tripe, or that my metaphors were so full of crap, you had to rush to the toilet in flowing tears. I really don't care. Not one bit.

     

     

    Alright, spit it out.

    September 25

    Oh yes. It's the movement you've all been waiting for.

    Firstly, I feel obligated to apologise for my extremely lengthy ____ from this blog - the last month has been an absolute whirlwind of practice test-papers and scrunched-up notes on coffee-stained looseleaf paper. Had I the time or occasion to update, trust me, I would have. Unfortunately, I had neither, and was forced to watch as the influx of anxious requests for my return flooded my inbox.

    And oh my, was it fun.

    However, the purpose of this particular entry is not to complain, nor to insult, or to complain some more. Which is a nice change, I'm sure you'll find. From Tuesday the 3rd, until Friday the 6th, "Click Here" will be closed down for complete and utter reform.

    After returning to my blog and realising that the number of lists and modules present was astronomical and unpleasantly messy, I decided that;
    1) I was going to change the organisation of my space,
    2) I rather desperately required a re-vamp of the blog's aesthetic features before I went crazy, and
    3) "Click Here!!" needed content change. And fast.

    "Click Here!!" has always had a focus on entertainment; there was the list of "CD's Nathan oh-so-desires", "Nathan's Musically Musical wall of Musical Shame", "Nathan's Favourite songs of all time", "Nathan's Favourite Movies", "Movies to avoid like the plague" - the list continues. The new "Click Here!!" will feature he same content, just in a better written and more easily navigatable format.
    The newly reformed blog will become much more personal, with my actual self becoming more involved in the entries, etc. "The Pointless Nostalgic" will soon follow, and as an added bonus to every grammar-freak and spelling-browncoat, BLOGS WILL BE EDITED!

     

    With considerable amount of possibly false sincerity,

    the-social-bunny.

     

    PS. And so, the countdown begins...

     

    August 18

    Part One: Canberries, History, and Shakespeare.

    Oh look! 'Tis the wonderful one, in all his glory, and magnificence.
     
    Bow down and kiss his blesséd feet!
    Oh, the feeling might taste so sweet!
    Just to unfamiliarly meet, Oh to meet thy Lord!
     
    Alright, I'll stop with the bad Shakespearean imitation. It's probably more embarrassing for you than it is me. Even though that's really your problem (seeing as you've obviously taken proactiveness to seek my modest blog of sorts), I'll pretend care just the inciest bit to keep us both in an amiable and peace-filled relationship, rather than an association gone wrong - wreaking in havoc and psychological destruction.
     
    Alrighty - let's get down to business then, shall we?
    Well, here goes.
     
    Hey, guess what?
    What do Buses, McDonalds, and Canberra all have in common?
    Go on, guess.
     
    ...
     
     
    Are you guessing?
     
     
    ...
     
     
    ... Fine then, be that way. Cows. I'll tell you the answer. Me.
     
    The day before today saw dearest Nathan travel four hours interstate into the desolate and backwards region of Canberra-town, our pitiful excuse for a capital city that shames all Australians when compared to the likes of London, Washington and Paris. An uninspired city completely devoid of culture, business, or people. A semi-metropolis that looks more like a series of gigantic cardboard boxes than a nation's capital.
     
    Seriously, it's as if somebody decided to dig a giant hole in the middle of nowhere, and decided to build a big, ugly parliament house on a hill after realising that the area was unfit for human habitation - thus, appropriate for the work of politicians. And if that wasn't enough, they then decided to build an even bigger hole, fill it up with murky brown water and then slap a high-powered water jet in the middle - a supposed symbol of our constitutional highground and power. (And as we all know, what comes up, must come down!).
     
    God, I hate the designer of Canberra. The whole place is so openly-designed and wide, and as a consequent, the people are scared of tall buildings. Eugh. All that space. Open space is the destroyer of architectural charm. Thus, Canberra is very, VERY architecturally uncharming. God. Our capital is like a giant paddock of doll houses and cows. The cows being the people, of course.
     
    In fact, I despise the designer of Canberra. I hope that his mother had a fondness for feeding him poisoned cookies, which resulted in his slow and painful ordeal with mercury poisoning, and his eventualy induced insanity causing him to thow himself off his monsterous creation, The Parliament House.
    Perhaps he could share those cookies with Bert Newton. The we'd finally get rid of Family Feud.
     
    ... And all would be happy, and joyous, and in praise of the Lord's gift of peace.
     
    Now, I think I've made it quite clear that I rather dislike dearest Canberra and its aptly named residents, "Canberries". Though I'm sure the majority of Canberra's miniscule population are wonderful, wonderful people - but the most memorable group of beings were neither wonderful, nor were they people.
     
    Yep, that's right. the-social-bunny had an unpleasant encounter with a group of ever-so-pleasant emoites. But these weren't your common, shy. quiet, self-loathing emoriffic emoites. Oh no, these were the angry, violent, loud, drug-abusing, school-skipping emoites - the sort that are angst ridden to the point of explosiveness. And they were all hanging together in this one, huge emoriffic group. The sight was larger than Life! Well, larger than self-induced death, really. Oh those silly emoites. Well, maybe it's just the Canberry emoites that are silly. And violent.
     
    Hehe. It's funny 'cause "Canberry's" a pun of "Cranberry". And berrys' are fruit.
    Thus, All Canberry emoites are large pieces of fruit. Emo fruit, in fact.
    Thus, seeing as "Canberries' " a pun of "Cranberries", "Cranberries" must be emo fruit.
     
    Thus, each time you eat a Cranberry, you destroy an emoite somewhere in the world. Each bite brings them pain and suffering (the type that's NOT self-induced!), and thus, each bite brings blood-ridden goodness and accomplishment to one's self.
     
    Hey, guess what?
     
    ...
     
    I feel like Cranberries.

    - the-social-bunny.
     
     
    July 28

    It's just a nervous tic motion of the head to the left.

    Yep. Mhm. You betcha'.
     
    Ever had one of those days where you just want to strangle the next-door neighbour's cat at the end of it? You know, watching it squirm and struggle just to reassure yourself that things could have gone worse?
     
    Well, if you haven't, I hope someone pushes you in front of a bus tommorow. Then you'd know how it feels you stupid, cheery cows. Usually, I'd be happy for your "half-full" optimism and adorable smiles, but this week calls for your long and painful torture, followed promptly by torture and death.
     
    On dearest Monday, I had a performance - a performance which I had been practising for one-and-a-half hours everyday for the past two terms. And to put it quite simply, I Bombed It. And it wasn't just a regular "bomb" - as in the type that sadistic troubled teenagers make out of fertiliser and deoderant. It was the type that makes a gigantic mushroom cloud in the sky, killing everybody within a twenty kilometre radius.
     
    It's a commonly known fact that I have attacks of anxiety during assessment periods - and my performance one was no exception. I experienced the standard "nervous wreck" routine; Cue shaky hands, a trembling bottom lip and fast, erratic glances in every which way and direction.
    At first, I didn't do too badly; Warm tone, appropriate application of rubato, and substantial emphasis on the melody. But I started to get more nervous as time went on, shaking considerably and sporting a facial expression not unsimilar to that of a person just about to have a car accident.
     
    Wait, scrap that. I don't really mean a car accident.
    There aren't enough deaths involved!
     
    Perhaps a more appropriate choice of extended metaphor is required... I'm thinking more along the lines of a massive emo-pet battle between the inner-city suburbs of Sydney. There was DEATH! There was DESTRUCTION! There were ACCUSATIONS OF "POSING"!
     
    ... and this was just their own inner conflicts.
     
    Moving back from my rather random digression, about halfway through the performance, the G key decided to break. Now, this might sound trivial to some, and to others, completely incomprehensible, but it was a pretty big deal.
     
    In fact, it was a HUGE deal, seeing as the piece was in Freakin' G MAJOR.
    ... WITH EXTENDED TONIC PEDAL POINT.
     
    And in true Nathan style, I panicked, flung my fingers off the keyboard and exasperatedly called for help - which led to a ten minute impormptu repair-job that detracted from my mark with every second. And the expression on the teacher's face didn't help much either, with her beady eyes and disapproving scowl sealing the fate of my performance mark.
     
    Evidently disappointed and rather downtrodden, I went up to ask about the ways in which I could overcome this nervousness during Lunch. And what I found out? Well...
     
    Apparantly, I have two options for the overcoming of my performance anxiety attacks. I can:
    ONE: See a specialist counsellor in the field of musical performance and music psychology.
    TWO: Take meds.
     
    Mhm. Meds. "Bedabreakers", if I remember correctly. I was told that I had the option of taking possibly addictive anxiety drugs, of which could be prescribed by my local GP by my music teacher. The other staff soon joined in the conversation, all admitting to their dabbling in the medication at some point in time. I was even more suprised when I found out that half the HSC year above me are using it, and found myself in a strange and disturbing day-dream involving a whimsically light-headed me walking up the steps to the piano in a wavy path, unable to coordinate my legs or hands to a satisfactory degree. Of course, I'll seek these "specialists" first before subjecting myself to probably uneccessary pill-popping, as I'd rather not check into a drug rehabilitation clinic at any stage of my life, thank you very much.
     
    Well, that it's for now - I've only slept about 25 hours this week, and thus I'm incredibly tired and in need of a new tube of Berocca. I apologise for this rather badly written entry - I've got a rather large headache and can't really be bothered putting effort into it. I just needed to update, after over two weeks of absence, and the like.
     
    With his dearest, most sincere apologies,
     - Nathan, the possible furture drug addict.
    July 18

    To the declining few who read this blog.

    I'll say it outright. This blog is dying.
     
    Yep, You heard right. It's dying. In pain. And in agony. And in a lack of visitors.
     
    Lately, I've realised that dearest "CLICK HERE!!" is receiving fewer and fewer viewers every week, being beaten by blogs full of bad poetry about sexual ambivilence and self-loathing. Being the curiously curious person that I am, I decided to brainstorm all the possible problems and external factors that may have influenced this unfortunate decline. Hell, I even made an uber-funky list with an equally as funky heading.
     
    Five Reasonably Expressed Paragraphs Detailing Five Different Reasons Why Nathan's Blog is Dying Even Faster Than Dumbledore Did in the Sixth "Harry Potter" Book, Which, For Those of You Who Don't Know, was Entitled "The Half Blood Prince"
    (FREPDFDRWNBDEFTDDSHPBWFTYWDKETHBP)
    Go on, try saying it. Go on!
     
     
    ONE
    'Because Nathan's gradual decline in blog writing skills have generally discouraged first-time, accidental viewers from wanting to want to associate themselves with my ever-so-wonderful self."
    First thing's first. I know you can't start a sentence with "Because". But I'll do it anyway, seeing as I'm more rebellious than a whiney emo kid in early stages of puberty.
    Sure, I know that my blogs haven't exactly been as witty, intelligent or grammatically correct as they used to, but that's no reason for you to dismiss it like an OC ad on Channel ten. Unlike the OC, I don't hold social functions every week, boast drug and hard-liquer addictions, and have on-and-then-for-some-strangely-oversensitive-reason-off-again relationships with attractive models with the acting abilities of an upturned ice cream cone. In lieu of that, I have high levels of pleasantly cynical rants that pull on the heartstrings of my beloved fanclub of three, and somewhat hypocritical complaints that makes the guests on "Dr. Phil" sound like saints. And as we all know, that's just about all you deserve. (Please Don't hurt me.)
     

     
    TWO
    "Because Nathan has neglected to go blog-hopping as of late, thus minimalising the exposure of his blog, and allowing the expansion of reader-base to extend only to the unknown regions of his contact list."
    One word. Codswallop.

     
    THREE
    "Because many of the people who actually know our dearest Nathan are intimidated by his dazzling smile, academic brilliance, and funky inhaler."
    Oh yes, It's true. I've got a brand, spankin' new inhaler to treat my rather unnattractive case of temporary seasonally-determined, episodical asthma. Some say that it's karma's way of saying "You Shouldn't Have Stolen that Guy's Wallet" or "That Elderly Man Didn't Need to be Pushed Over, and Then Jumped On.", but we all know being the kind-hearted, moral kid that I am, I'm more likely to survive the apocalypse than commit such horribly horrible acts of horror. Perhaps the big guy just hates me, possibly for being loved more than he.

     
    FOUR
    "Because Nathan never finished "A Rather Odd Experience"."
    And I never will, brother.

     
    FIVE
    "Because Nathan's entries have been reduced to pointless, convoluted rants with no apparant structure or recognisable purpose."
    Did someone say "Nathan, did you just hit the jackpot?".
    I think the answer is "Yes, Nathan, you did, and I wouldn't dare defy your rhetorical questions that weren't really supposed to be answered in the first place but were answered anyway because we love you and think your musical abilities exceed even that of Pytor Tchaikovsky".
    I know that I haven't been putting as much into my dearest blog lately, and to be honest, I've no idea why. Perhaps it's the freezing change in weather that has turned me into a lazier, more procrastinative being than usual. Perhaps I'm just running short of ideas. Perhaps I'm just getting bigger and meaner by the second, and you'll all run into your little hidey-holes to escape my devilish wrath and piano-fists of doom. I really don't know, and unless someone points it out, I doubt it'd ever be known.
     
    Oh well. Beats having a blog full of bad poetry.
     
    the-social-bunny.
     

    Think you know the answer to Nathan's unfortunate predicament? Showing an interest in linking him from your possibly under-average blog? Prepared to sell your soul for a bag of cookies?
    Email him at the_social_bunny@hotmail.com, and heck, he might just even do the same.

    July 13

    A Contrast of Personalities, Blogwise, that is.

    After wanting to do something "different" in the world of bloggery and internet posts, I created another space, which I will maintain alongside this one. It is of an immense contrast in character and content as compared to this wonderful one which you happen to be visiting. It's entitled "The Pointless Nostalgic", and can be reached HERE.
     
    Take a look, and be amazed by Nathan's almost schizophrenic difference in behaviour. Then, pour him a cup of tea and do his English Homework, which he is finding unpleasantly tedious at the current time.
     
    I'll update here soon, I promise.
    ... Or do I?
     
     
     
    No really, I do.
    As nice as it would be to leave you all cold and lonely, I won't - seeing as I'm just so freakin' nice. Or, like to think of myself in that respect anyway.
     
    Until Next time,
     
    the-social-bunny.
    July 06

    A response to comments of disapproving disapproval.

    I love hate mail.
    All that disapproval, and semi-hurtfulness, and bad grammar.
    Oh, and it's particularly wonderful when they throw in notions of incest, psychological instability, and racism.
    Oh yes. Those are absolutely wonderful.
     
    Observe.
     
    "haha omgz ur lyk such a  friggin nerd man. totalliz!!! i mean do u evan hav a lyf? cuz u seriouslay scare tha shit outta moi. r u lyk deranged? is ur mother ur sister? cuz it looks dat way. ur blog is so boreworthy. what am i evan doin here in da frist place??? u nerddd *cough*cough* u should be lyk in da zoo cuz ur so unique and like wooooo so omeegosh kewllooies, U SADISTIC BASTARD GET OUTTA MY SITE CUZ I CANT SEE PASS UR FAT AND UGGO AZN HEAD OF URS K??! understand me biatchz? i bettter go now before i catch some STIs of u. ciao for now not 4eva. luvz sammmy."
     
    p.s i know ur mum.
     
    Published By silent sam - 25 June 4:56 PM
     
    Now, if I've learnt anything in my fifteen-and-a-bit years of living, it's that I should take into consideration the possible effects of Karma should I reply with something of just as charming, witty, and utterly intelligent.
    But then I realised that if I ever wrote at dearest Sam's level, I'd probably be kidnapped, tortured for several excruciating hours, and then left to die in the middle of a deserted road (Possibly the Cross-city tunnel.)
    And on that note, Sammy dearest, you're going to die on... Tuesday, in your bedroom, at around... 8:40 AM. But it won't be me who's beating you with various metal-plated objects of swinging swingitability.
    It'll be your mother. Who's your sister.
     
    ... and your daughter?
     
    Well, I wouldn't be suprised, despite it being rather... impossible.
     
    But I digress, as I have done so many times in the past. It's ranked second on my list of liteary flaws, right behind over-description and run-on sentences.
    Moving on, generally find that people like to dismiss these sorts of things, but being the rather vengeful, hostile, rancorous, spiteful, vindictive, unfeeling, cold-blooded, relenetless, punitive, evil, vindictive, unkind, bitter inimical, unforgiving, pitiless, vindictive, unsparing, malicious, wicked, nasty, over-descriptive person that I am, I'll take any opportunity to display my vengeful, hostile, rancorous, spiteful, vindictive, unfeeling, cold-blooded, relenetless, punitive, evil, vindictive, unkind, bitter inimical, unforgiving, pitiless, vindictive, unsparing, malicious, wicked, nasty, and over-descriptive ways.
     
    So, after about two-and-a-half paragraphs of rant-like waffle, here goes.
     
    Dearest Sam. I'd much prefer it you'd stick with your display name, and stay silent. In fact, it'd probably make you seem just the slightest bit less... brainless. Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading you comment. It was rather hilarious, actually. Hilariously hilarious!

    "haha omgz ur lyk such a  friggin nerd man. totalliz!!!"
    Wow. Not only have you captured my interest (with the topic of me at hand), you've also managed to display your severely limited knowledge of the English language and its applications. Again, Wow. You're amazing.

    "u seriouslay scare tha shit outta moi. r u lyk deranged? is ur mother ur sister? cuz it looks dat way..."
    Well, I'm glad that I assist in the movement of your bowels, but I'm afraid that my mother is not my sister, and I find it interesting that you claim to be able to identify the characteristics of an inbred offspring so easily. It sorta raises questions, don't you think?

    "ur blog is so boreworthy. what am i evan doin here in da frist place???"
    I don't know. You tell me.
    Oh no wait - don't do that. My eardrums might perforate from the casual insertion of inappropriate vowels and thus, the blatantly incorrect pronunciation that arises as a direct result from it.

    "u should be lyk in da zoo cuz ur so unique and like wooooo so omeegosh kewllooies, U SADISTIC BASTARD GET OUTTA MY SITE CUZ I CANT SEE PASS UR FAT AND UGGO AZN HEAD OF URS K??!"
    Well, the last time I checked, being "unique" wasn't really considered a bad thing. In fact, the suggestion that I'm unique to the point that I could be put on display in a zoo is rather... flattering. People would pay to see me! (Not that they don't do that already, but you know.). In addition, I don't ever remember visiting a blog run by a "Silent Sam", and I think I'd prefer it to stay that way, both for my psychological well-being as well as that of my senses (particularly my sight and hearing). Oh, and thanks for the racist remark. It's greatly appreciated, especially since the White Australia was reintroduced the other day. Cow.

    "understand me biatchz? i bettter go now before i catch some STIs of u. ciao for now not 4eva. luvz sammmy."
    Oh yes. I understand completely. Of course, it took several hours to decipher you message, despite proffessional assistance from the good people at the Museum of Sydney. They said it was a form of Ancient Greek script. I said it was written by an idiot.
    Moving on, you mention "STI's". Now, I think I, as well as many others, would most probably refrain from engaging in sexual intercourse with yourself, for obvious reasons. Although I won't get into the denegrating, self-loathing details, I can tell you this: It's against our ethics and morals to be engaging such activities with animals. "Beastality" is greatly frowned upon in most societies,ours included. And though this might seem ironic (considering that fact that I AM the-social-bunny.), it's pretty much what we're all thinking.
    Oh, and Sammy, I "luvz" you too.

    "p.s i know ur mum."
    Shut up.

     
    As of today, a new email will be implemented to handle any thoughts, including those like this one. Got a complaint about the individually aimed denegration? Ready to worship the cyber-ground I walk on? Have a marriage proposal for me? Send it my way.
     
     
    Bunny out.
    July 04

    R.I.P

    I've lost all faith in humanity.
     
    As of yesterday, "Who-else-buy-Lloydo" was deleted, his cynicsm and borderline sadism removed from this vast wasteland of spaces.
     
    He will be sorely missed.
     
     
     
     
    the-social-bunny.
    June 27

    I think I'm about to cry.

    One word says it all.
     
    Fuck.
     
    That's right. Nathan swore. And Nathan NEVER, EVER swears.
     
    By now, you probably would have guessed what I'm complaining about, or to keep up the whole swearing thing, "bitching about". Yep. That's right. It's the soccer.
     
    In all honesty, I wasn't so much of a soccer fan until those dearest Socceroos made the world cup - in the past, I watched it rather casually, just whenever it was on. However, when we DID make it, you can imagine what I did - I stayed up until ungodly hours of the morning watching the grand game, stuck little green-and-gold flags all over my parents' cars, and discussed every little what-so and what-not of the game to anyone who would bother to listen. You could pretty much say that I jumped on the excitement bandwagon, and essentially spent the last fortnight singing patriotic songs, dancing patriotic dances, and pretty much disgracing myself in the midst of our rather judgemental neighbours.
     
    And then came Italy.
     
    To be honest, at first, I didn't think we had much of a chance. And as everyone knows, I'm the most knowledgable of the soccer gurus. Well, Alright. Maybe "Guru" is just the inciest bit exaggerated, but you know... I like to elevate myself about everyone else.
    Moving on, our dearest Soccer team proved me wrong for most of the game - as time went on, more hope filled my adorable little heart-shaped heart, and I found myself saying all sorts of hopefully hopeful things. I even started imagining me obtaining several limited release CD's that I really had no chance of obtaining! Things were going well... until that awful man came.
     
    By now, you've probaly heard about it - the unfair penalty against us SIX SECONDS BEFORE THE END of time. Did that Italian guy deserve it? No, he didn't. Did he get it anyway? Yes, he did.
     
    And so, to run parallel with this unfairness, I have decided to return the favour, temporarily boycotting anything Italian or even remotely mediterranean.
     
    Souvlaki? Forget it.
     
    Paela? Keep dreaming.
     
    Bruschetta? Dude, you've got to be joking.
     
    Eugh... did I just say dude?
    ... Yuck.
     
    So here goes my boycott of everything Italian - I'm not going to eat Italian food, dress in anything made remotely near Italy, read anything written by an Italian, look at any Italian artworks - I'm pretty much ditching that awful group of cultured cows in the ditch alongside my road of life.
     
    And socialising with Italian People?
    Well, do angry shouts and insults count as socialising?
     
    Hmm. I guess they do.
    Well then, an exception must be made.
     
    What's so suprising to me is my pro-activeness in my newfound anti-Italianism. I've burnt the Michaelangelo book from the bookshelf, Hammered all the pasta, sundried tomatoes and last night's tiramasu into an unrecognisable pulp, and I've even put a bike lock on our DeLonghi coffee machine. Sure, it's extreme, but I'd rather spite them with as much hatred and envy as I can than let them prance allover my spiritual grave with lasagne sloshing from their hands and Alfredo sauce drooling from their mouths. You've become the death of me, and I plan to return the favour.
     
    With a lack of regard for those condescending expressions on your faces,
    the-social-bunny.
     
    PS. I'm angry.
    June 22

    I'm sure you'd prefer not knowing, but I'll tell you anyway.

    It's that time of year. Report time, that is.
    And once again, dearest Nathan has done reasonably well, despite not making the school's Academic Achievement list. Once again, my wondefull-ness has been unoticed by that awful little educational establishment.
     
    Damn them. Damn them to hell.
    English.
    Award - High Distinction
    State Grade - A
    Rank - Within top 10.
    Teacher's Comment: Once again, dearest Nathan has proved himself a keen and hard-working student who has the most stunning smile in the class and the most wonderful taste in music. Also, he writes the best essays ever. Much better than the other pathetic children in the class.
     
    Mathematics.
    Award - Credit
    State Grade - A
    Rank - Unknown.
    Teacher's Comment: What Nathan lacks in Mathematical ability, he makes up in a way of making the whole world smile. However, must urge that he stop making Casey Donovan jokes, or else I will continue to push him off the platform after school.
     
    Science.
    Award - High Distinction.
    State Grade - A
    Rank - 13th.
    Teacher's Comment: Nathan likes bunsen burners. In fact, Nathan REALLY likes bunsen burners.
     
    Visual Arts.
    Award - Distinction.
    State Grade - A
    Rank - 10th.
    Teacher's Comment: Nathan should learn how to draw before he steps another foot into my classroom.
     
    Commerce.
    Award- High Distinction.
    State Grade - A.
    Rank - 4th.
    Teacher's Comment: Nathan's a truly wonderful child, and should be praised by all. Nathan for PM!
     
    Geography.
    Award - High Distinction.
    State Grade - A.
    Rank - Within top 10.
    Teacher's Comment: Please tell Nathan to stop laughing at me. It's rather hurtful.
     
    PD/Health/PE.
    Award - Pass with Merit.
    State Grade - D.
    Rank - You'd rather not know.
    Teacher's Comment: Nathan should consider suicide, life imprisonment and self-mutilation before considering a career in the field of sports. However, I must say that he can run rather fast... when chased by the park dogs.
    And that, needless to say, is a frequently recurring event.
     
    Music, Course 2 - Accelerated.
    Score - 78/100.
    HSC Band - 5.
    Rank - 6. Out of 9.
    Teacher's Comment: Despite Nathan's largely mediocre performance this semester, I'm sure he'll do better next time... that is, if he manages to perfect his performances within a frantically short period of time, improve his Musicology Aural grade by 35% (or more... MUCH more.)  and compose something that's not in D major.
     
    Sure, it's lame, but it's rushed. I, like many others, must finish everything early tonight, so that our Friday is not spent half-asleep after watching the morning game.
     
    Good day to you all.
    Well... at least that person over there.
     
     
    the-social-bunny.
    June 10

    Band camp, Gastronomic difficulties and a big, smiley entrance-way.

    It has been a rather long two-weeks since my last entry, and I'm sure you're all very saddened by my absence from this blog. But Never Fear! I'm back, with many a story-to-tell, and a rather large bunny costume not unsimilar to that from Donnie Darko.
     

    ... My hero.
     
    Moving on, I'm afraid this entry is going to be one of those unbearably boring, self-concerned, and deathly uninteresting blogs where one discusses the ongoings of their lives for the past few weeks, or such. But like traffic jams, soggy sandwiches and Gretel Kileen, one must put up with it. Not that I'm an unbearingly boring, self-concerned, and deathly uninteresting person, because we all know that I rock. However, this personal greatness has a tendency to never translate well into "Electronic text-based literary mush" otherwise known as "blog entries".
     
    But I digress, as I have done far too many times in the past.
    So let's get into what really matters. My recent affairs! What else!?
     
    BAND CAMP.
    It's one of those events in the year that calls a great deal of concern, as dear ol' 'Meroo "Christian" Conference Centre' has discovered over the last few years. Unbeknownst to many (or to be more exact, just the brain-dead), A teenage boy, left without parental supervision, an unlimited supply of junk food and inappropriate soft-core pornography stashed in his bag, and a completely unrestricted access to every percussion instrument ever known to man... is not good. In fact, it's so "not good", that it can cause various cafeteria ladies to burst into tears of frustration, and can lead to the nervous breakdown of many-a-music-teacher. Multiply this by a-hundred-and-eighty-something, and you've got total and complete mayhem. Anarchy, even.
     
    Needless to say, I was one of the good, innocent little boys who instead of "an unlimited supply of junk food and inappropriate soft-core pornography", brought along various fruit-based treats and Family Guy episodes. Oh no, There's no corruption of the mind here.
    Well, apart from the newly adopted mild case of sadism and an affinity with Hitler.
    Oh alright. There's no affinity for Hitler, only an affinity with other political devils, and the like. 
     
    GASTRONOMIC DIFFICULTIES,
    AND VARIOUS OTHER ILL STATES AND SENSATIONS. 
    I had them. Oh yes, I did.
     
     
     
    A BIG, SMILEY ENTRANCE-WAY.
    aka.
    THE GATE TO GREASY, AMUSEMENT PARK FOOD.
     
    Yep. You guessed it. 'Twas Luna Park!
    ... But if you didn't guess it, then you must be horribly, horribly stupid. I mean, who couldn't pick up on that blatently unambiguous allusion?
    Well... You. Obviously, You suck.
     
    Moving forward, I refer to my rather wonderful Science excursion to dearest Luna Park, who's overpriced fast food and numerous Health and Safety hazards made a terribly amusing day out of a one that was miserable, rainy and dark. The holding together of rides via oversized paperclips... the relatively terrifying musical side-show mannequins... The possibly seizure-inducing flashing lightbulbs and neon signs... I mean, who can't love that?
     
    No really, I'm being serious. Seriously serious, even. Honest!
    Gosh, the more I say, the more I sound sarcastic.
    Well, there's no sarcasm here. Or in the shamelessly pop-rock stylings of Hilary Duff.
    No sir, none at all... Or Ma'am, if applicable.
     
    And on that note, I must end.
    And no, for your information, there's no sarcasm here  either.
     
    With moderate sincerity,
    Nathan, giver of life... condemner of souls... and so and so forth.
     
    PS. "Hiel Hitle---- Oh that's right. I don't  have an affinity with Hitler.
    May 27

    Oh. My. God.

    Once year, an event is held. An event that brings death, and destruction, and all that is evil to the scope of the inner eye. An event created in the fiery embrace of the devil himself, and released by the soldiers of the damned in screams of torturous pain and agony.
     
    Yes, you guessed right.
    It's the... the...
     
    THE EUROVISION SONG CONTEST.
     
    Yes, everyone. Quiver in your boots.
    ... Or any other various types of footwear that you may be sporting.
     
    Anyway. You know it, I know it.
    You know it's where the failures of the European music circuit come together for a night of off-pitch transvestite pop-cabaret and overweight, half-naked backup dancers wearing metallic suspenders and other freakishly freakish stuff conducted by freakishly freakish people who are co-incidently, freakishly freakish.
     
    But really... the inability to hold a tune, the chessy, ABBA-like "songs", the ocassional on-stage paedophiliac rape... It is, without a doubt, the work of the devil himself.
     
    But enough of that. We shall speak of it no more, as any more mention of it would bring both bad recollections of The Lord-of-the-Rings Orcs that won, and the ridiculously bad costumes that they wore. They conjured up images that squidgy bunnies such as myself would prefer to keep locked up in the back of their sub-concious.
     

    Lordi

     
    I told you. From Lord of the Rings, they came.
     
    Were they Scary?
    Well, Yes.
     
    Were they Angry?
    Again, yes.
     
    Were they better off singing a Broadway show tune?
    ... Damn straight.
     
    "If you're blue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits..."
    ...and so on and so forth.
     
    Oh wait, let me finish.
     
    "PUTTING ON THE RITZ!"
     
     
     
    Well, there's my two-and-a-half-cents for the week. Now, it's time for me to go spend my Saturday watching dvd-archived re-runs of bad, unfunny, 90's sitcoms.
    And speaking of bad, unfunny, 90's sitcoms - I'm off to band camp next week.
    All that unfunny, slapstick situational humour - the similarites are uncanny.
    And to those wondering what going to band-camp means... I'll tell you.
     
    It means that I won't be here.
    For three days.
     
    Instead, I'll be playing the clarinet badly in our rather pathetic concert band, along with the other fifty-thousand other clarinetist's who so foolishly chose to play a giant black stick. Nevertheless, I love my clarinet. Much like tea, fast food and my pet-emo, my clarinet is my friend.
    ... And on occassions, my lover.
     
    Well... (wait for it!)...  not really.
     
    Anyway, I shall return to bloggery when I recover from soggy camp breakfasts and other delectable camp-food treats. Until then, I bid you farewell, and possibly a "hello" for the next time I see you, that is, If  I see you.
     
    Oh the fun. Oh the deliciousness. Oh the-social-bunny.
     
    PS. One time, at band camp... I made joke. 'Twas Hilarious.
     
    May 17

    'Twas the night before my birthday.

    Indeed it was... well - is. I'm afraid to say that by tommorow, the innocence of being wonderously young and fourteen will be replaced by the sinful evils of being fifteen and/or over. No longer will the law protect me from watching MA films in cinemas, no longer will I be able to say "I'm Fourteen, how old are you?", and no longer will I be able to live through various daytime children's TV programs without making some sort of witty, sarcastic comment.
     
    Yes, 'Tis sad indeed - but it is true, nevertheless. But on a brighter note, I have a dear ol' Commerce exam, followed by a rather difficult sounding Economics Competition tommorow - which means my Birthday will be full of wonderous little questions asking about "the effect of such and such on so and so", and so on and so forth.
     
    Ah yes, I feel the sarcasm kicking in already. Woe is me.
    Woe is me indeed.
    Come on... Woe with me people.
     
    Anyway, not to sound materialistic or anything, but I know what I'm hoping for...
    For my birthday, I'm hoping to get a pet emo.
    That's right people - I want a pet emo.
    I'd name it... Tiffany. I'm sure it'd love that.
     
    ...And I promise to feed it everyday, and pet it with love and affection, and from time to time, poke it with various sized sticks to see if it bites... or instead chooses to do that wrist-y thing-y that we hear about so often.
     
    And I would put my pet emo on a leash and walk it 'round the park, various malicious comments containing the phrases "F**** Posers", "Kill me now", and "Pull-the-trigger"  being thrown around at all the other little pet emos. And they'll have hissy fits. And it'll be so cool.
     
    But we will call these hissyfits and catfights "emo-pet battles", in which we store them in tiny red-and-white balls, and then say;
     
    "I CHOOSE YOU - EMO-MON! GO AND USE... SOME... SORT... OF... EMO... ATTACK."
     
    ... And not only will these fights be hilarious displays of sadism and wanna-be hardcore comedy, you can also earn gym badges at the local emo-pet-gyms. And trade them. And you'll be able to trade your emo-pets too!  They'll be like some sort of fashion accessory - except without the price tag. Or the aestehtically-pleasing character.
     
    "I want Tiffany!"
    "No I want Tiffany!"
    "Fine - You can Tiffany, But I want Elizabeth"
    "No, You Can't have Elizabeth, but you can have Lucy"
    "Oh my god, You are like, such a bitch"
    "I know, right? Like, isn't it weird?"
    ... And so on and so forth.
     
    What's best is, the emo-pet's will have conversations!
    "We're so misunderstood", they will say.
     
    "I wish someone would care about me in a nauseating, self-loathing, teenage way", they will say.
     
    And I'll just laugh, and I 'll say,
     
    "Dear Tiffany, oh how you amuse me"
     
     
     
    Well, that was pointless... not to mention immensely lame and oh-so-very uncreative. Well, I have an excuse - 'Tis the eve of my day of birth.
     
    Nevertheless, I must be off - memorising the effect of such and such on so and so doesn't happen by itself.
     
    Fare-dy-well!
     
    the-social-bunny.
     
    PS. To those very few who are nervously clutching their hearts, waiting for "A rather odd experience" to come back, sit tight.
    All will be alright.
    It'll be back soon.
     
    PPS. Normally, my writing doesn't use so many "...And" 's, but cut me some slack - I'm under stress. 
    May 08

    Did someone say public notice?

    Dear readers
    What you might read will be overly-joyous, and may cause mild cases of spiritual ecstacy and unfounded inner-happiness.
     
    I am delighted to inform the whole 3 of you readers that over the next few weeks, my presence here will be nothing but a slightly curious check for comments from time-to-time and a sense of wonder concerning exactly how I became blog obsessed in the first place.
     
    To your delight, I'm afraid to say that the reason for this temporary absence is the highly-unanticipated half-yearly exams, of which I will be busily applying my half-assed efforts into for the period of a week or so that they cover. Even more to your delight, I'm afraid that I will be suffering from severe bouts of insomia and have panic-induced breathing problems - both of which will eventually lead to the death of me at some point in time.
     
    And to end this overly-formal and try-hardish attempt at satirical incongruity, I leave you with this message:
     
    Listening to your brother badly sing "Love is a Battlefield" is neither pleasant, nor desirable, and shoud be left up to those who have experience in dealing with trauma induced by horrible pitch, terrifying intonation, and those unable to "hold a tune" - even if the lives of millions of Chinese child slave labourers depended on it.
     
    It's times like these it's embarassing to be Asian.
    Well, not really. It's just embarassing to listen to my brother sing.
     
     
    ... Espescially in public.
     
    And to illustrate - I drew a picture.
     
    May 04

    A short, but nevertheless succinct entry.

    That's really quite enough, Shannon Noll.
     
    Seriously, we hate your guts.
     
     
     
    On another note, I'm off to the Chiropractor's - all those clicky-backy noises don't sound too good at all.